Thursday, October 17, 2013

Hot Mess

Hot Mess

If you want to set a woman’s mind at ease
and you are a woman
tell her you like her shoes
or her jacket.

She will bat it back at you.

Then you can say
you like the way her hair is cut
especially around her facebones

and then she will say
thank you for not saying
I look like a mess

and by the way
I love your arm.

I was born with it,
my parents made it for me,
thank you! Your aorta, if I could see it,
would be lovely, I feel sure.

But not as lovely as your tonsils
she will say,

and this is where you should be worried.

But I have no tonsils,

you will say, laughing, nervously,
both of you,
as you back away
careful not to startle her.


  1. What a great dark-comic turn in "I love your arm." The prep for it has been just right--mostly a matter of tone. And then it takes off into more extreme absurdity about . . . what shall we call it? . . . absurd pop culture? Nicely done.
    (I think you have a typo in your last word).

    1. I meant to say....thank you and thank you! (for the typo, too! Much obliged)

  2. I love this....yup, this is what happens when compliments are not sincere...I tell people that flattery will get them no where so they can relax : )

  3. Oh my gosh, this is great! Spot-on true, and fun, too.


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