The most important thing, speaking from experience, is to enjoy each moment of what you are doing, focusing on your beautiful new boy, and then, carving moments or hours for yourself alone to refresh and renew. The writing will emerge based on all you do. Life with this new child is enriching in ways that will inform your writing. The emotions will not grow dormant, but thrive, and the words will form as if of themselves, when ready, that intuitive, fictive dream... Though I know life feels fragmented, it all is a synthesis... a dance... If I could do one thing again, it would have been to give myself permission to enjoy... and to forgive myself for the dirty dishes and the unwritten word... but do give yourself some time to yourself, and some time to rest! I had a luxury that I wish I had appreciated more... I didn't have to go back to work when my son was young, but I kept feeling like I should, and it created an unease I regret. I often focused on what I should be doing, and though I crammed in a lot of wonderful experiences for myself and for my son and our circle of friendships, I wish I had given myself more permission to enjoy what I was actually doing. Just remind yourself, always, you are doing everything you can do, so that the body the heart and the brain will combine (after the fuzz of the lack of sleep) and enjoy! (I hope you don't mind this motherly advice... I know life is always so much more complex than a few words of encouragement...)
I really appreciate your kind advice, Annie! Those "shoulds" are always a problem, aren't they? They definitely are for me. Thank you for these thoughts...excellent advice that I am going to try my best to take!
more and more i hear new mothers going through this conflict.
ReplyDeletegracias for sharing
The most important thing, speaking from experience, is to enjoy each moment of what you are doing, focusing on your beautiful new boy, and then, carving moments or hours for yourself alone to refresh and renew. The writing will emerge based on all you do. Life with this new child is enriching in ways that will inform your writing. The emotions will not grow dormant, but thrive, and the words will form as if of themselves, when ready, that intuitive, fictive dream... Though I know life feels fragmented, it all is a synthesis... a dance... If I could do one thing again, it would have been to give myself permission to enjoy... and to forgive myself for the dirty dishes and the unwritten word... but do give yourself some time to yourself, and some time to rest! I had a luxury that I wish I had appreciated more... I didn't have to go back to work when my son was young, but I kept feeling like I should, and it created an unease I regret. I often focused on what I should be doing, and though I crammed in a lot of wonderful experiences for myself and for my son and our circle of friendships, I wish I had given myself more permission to enjoy what I was actually doing. Just remind yourself, always, you are doing everything you can do, so that the body the heart and the brain will combine (after the fuzz of the lack of sleep) and enjoy! (I hope you don't mind this motherly advice... I know life is always so much more complex than a few words of encouragement...)
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate your kind advice, Annie! Those "shoulds" are always a problem, aren't they? They definitely are for me. Thank you for these thoughts...excellent advice that I am going to try my best to take!
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