When
The Next Happy: Let Go of the Life You Planned and Find a New Way Forward arrived in my mailbox, I shrieked with glee, and then teared up a little. I’ve known the author,
Tracey Cleantis, from blogland since the earliest days of The Storialist. Some of you may know her column,
“Freudian Sip” (at
Psychology Today) or her former blog, La Belette Rouge.
In all of Tracey’s work, she writes about meaningful concepts and experiences in a voice that is warm, inviting, authentic, and wise. (This is exactly who she is as a person and friend—someone who is caring, truthful, funny, and so damn smart!)
This book is no exception. In
The Next Happy, she gives beautiful and real advice for helping others discover and create joy in their lives. I love how she prompts self-reflection, asking readers to look at and question what we so desperately want. Her perspective is so refreshing and helpful—she advises for us to run away from potentially hurtful adages like “Never give up on your dreams” and “If you want it bad enough, it’ll happen,” and to instead, be thoughtful and honest in our own evaluation of the goals we’re pursuing. If you’re feeling stuck, drained, or would like a little more insight into why you’re doing what you’re doing, this is the book for you!
In the book (and in her practice as a therapist), Tracey makes recommendations of books, movies, and poems that she thinks could benefit clients and readers. Tracey has graciously prescribed three poems for us here--you can enjoy them below, along with her thoughts on each!
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Tracey says: In The Next Happy I teach people what to expect
when they are grieving and the absolute importance of making room for
whatever feelings that arise. We should not reject these feelings, but
should make space for all of them, the good, the bad, and the
unwelcome---all the while knowing that this joy, meanness, envy,
sadness, fear will not stay forever. This is a poem that therapists
everywhere love. Truly, I almost feel like this poem is as important to
have for therapists as the DSM-V. This poem instructs, "Don't push
feelings away; welcome them and learn from them.”
The Guest House
Jalal al-Din Rumi (translation by Coleman Barks)
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond
.