Wednesday, November 17, 2010



Like second sets of bones, your undergarments,
ladies, are meant to provide structure. Of course,

with structure and support comes pain. Discomfort
is to be expected. If it hurts, you know it is working.

Our flesh is too wayward to be good. Unheld
skin, jiggling, is unseemly, even in our own

eyes. Also, the undergarments cannot be seen.
They must be worn, but we do not want any

visible evidence of them poking out through
the clothing. We recommend Spanx, as their

punishment is effective, yet not unattractive.
Though they will mostly be covered, they should

be pretty, your bras and panties. Straps should be thin
and beribboned. Scalloped edges are nice. Daintiness

in appearance is essential. Now, we do not mean
to alarm you. But eventually, your undergarments

will turn on you. They all do, be ready for it. Do not
take it personally. Put yourself in their shoes,

imagine bearing their burden. The flowery lace
at your waist will break. The underwire of a bra

will snake its way into your rib cage, poking you
with a talon. It is so sick of you ignoring all

that it does for you. Practice gratitude for the
ingeniousness of undergarments, for how they

hold you in and back, for the way they punish
you and still press themselves into your parts.


  1. This made me laugh. I am often at war with my Underwires. It's a quiet war of tugging, adjustment, some pleading on my part. They are passive aggressive. Yielding a little, then conceding not at all as I drive the car, turning a corner to be poked in my armpit, a not so subtle reminder. We can agree on the mission. We cannot agree on the tactics.

  2. My prettiest black bra just a few weeks ago turned on me, jabbing its evil barbs in the center of my cleavage. It happened when I was doing something else.

    (perfect, once again, by the way!)

  3. Well, some of us wish we needed this sort of support!

  4. Made me laugh, too. And so true! I opened up a drawer with a few of the kind that "turn on you" (though no Spanx) and thoughts of replacement do not amuse.

    They also hold us up (literally) at the airport screening machine.

  5. It is only funny because it is so very TRUE. They do turn on you. However as soon as they do then I turn on them; off they go and into the bin. I will not be pinched or jabbed by underwire.

  6. love it... I'm having a fashion-inspired few days...


  7. From Therese L. Broderick -- This is a great candidate for the "uber under" poem for all your "under" poems, Hannah, as well as for all your garment-inspired poems. (In one of my poetry groups, we used to talk about the "scaffold" supporting the poem.) You might like to read the poetry book "The Flight Cage" by Rebecca Dunham which contains poems about women's various confinements. The cover is a photo of one of those cages that women used to have to wear underneath their large flaring crinoline skirts.


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